My life used to be steeped in jealousy, a jealousy towards women who were cherished by their partners, while I quietly thought I had to fight for every bit of happiness. But deep down, I knew there had to be more. "Pain is Love," I bravely said, blind to the destructive patterns that permeated my relationships.
As a single mother, I was determined never to ask for help, and because of that, I allowed others to destroy me, believing I deserved it. I nurtured jealous friendships, a mirror of my inner struggle. I embraced martyrdom, convinced it was better than setting boundaries.
But then I saw the pattern. Womanhood in my family had always been a struggle, marked by abuse and silence. Women were invisible unless they were useful to men. They were conditioned to be silent, for fear of isolation.
But something began to change. I discovered that being a woman was not a weakness, but strength. I learned that my jealousy was actually a deep desire to embrace my femininity.
Now, when I see other women being loved, I feel safe. I know how that feels. Healing my traumas has helped me embrace my femininity in ways I never thought possible. I am the mother I wished I had, and my daughter understands her feminine power.
To the women I once envied: I'm sorry. I didn't understand my own strength. But now I do. Thank you for showing me what it's like to be loved.
I pray that every woman who reads this finds true love in her femininity.
During our last Ubuntu Tribe meeting, I realized that many of us hold onto false identities. But it's time to choose yourself. You don't have to do it alone. Join us and discover your strength. Sign up here directly.
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