My body does not need to be modified to be worthy of respect waistbeads

Your mother could detect a two kilo weight gain from across the room.

She loved you. She also had notes.

Are you sure you want to eat that?
You looked so beautiful when you were slimmer.
That dress would look better if you lost a little weight.

And somehow, your body became the longest running family group project.

Everybody had feedback.

Nobody had been appointed.

Perhaps your mother was not trying to hurt you. Perhaps she was repeating the same rules she had inherited from her mother.

Become smaller.
Remain desirable.
Never look too comfortable in your own skin.

She gave you her eyes, her laugh and possibly her excellent ability to find things everybody else has already searched for.

But you do not have to inherit the way she spoke about her body.

Or yours.

The family committee has officially been disbanded.

These traditional West African tie on waistbeads are not a measuring tape, punishment or promise that your body will become smaller.

They are adornment.

Glass beads tied around the stomach you were taught to hide.

Something beautiful resting on the body people kept suggesting you improve.

There is no clasp. No elastic. Once tied around your waist or hips, they remain there continuously as your body lives, softens, changes and takes up the space required to carry you through this life.

You are allowed to change your body if you choose.

You may lose weight.
Gain weight.
Build muscle.
Grow older.
Change your mind.

But respect is not the prize waiting at the end of that transformation.

It belongs to you now.

That is the magic of placing waistbeads around the part of yourself you were taught to criticise.

Part of The Summer of Self-Care Collection.

Choose your waistbeads. Adorn the body you have today. Modification request denied.